Miley Cyrus is All Growed Up (And Skanky)

Much has been made of Miley Cyrus’ “pole dancing” exhibition at last night’s Teen Choice Awards. Now to be fair, she isn’t pole dancing in the traditional sense. She mostly hangs onto the pole, which happens to be attached to an ice cream cart which a backup dancer wheels across the stage while she’s standing atop it. (???)

That being said – it was a pole, and she was dancing, and is that really appropriate? I’ll leave that question up to you. Watch the video and see what you think:

Honestly, I think the pole dancing was hardly the skankiest part of Miley’s performance. Those short shorts, for one thing. I mean… yikes. Some of her dance moves were similarly “yikes.” Remember, folks, that Miley is significantly under the age of consent. Not that you’d know it from her catwalk strut.

(Personally, I thought the song itself was the most eye-roll-worthy part. Here we have Miley Cyrus, daughter of Country music mega-star Billy Ray Cyrus, singing about how strange it is to move from your little home town in Tennessee to big sparkling shiny Hollywood, where you feel upstaged and out of place. Are you kidding me? Miley Cyrus was practically BORN in Hollywood. It’s like Paris Hilton singing about how hard it is to be poor.)

The entire time I was watching Hannah Montana Gone Wild clip, all I could think of was Adele Givens’ poetry slam bit, “It ain’t that damn cute, Ree Ree.” (I guess the entire bit is called “Loan.”) Absolute genius!

If anyone needs Adele Givens to give her a spelling test and set her straight, it’s Miley Cyrus.

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