Miley Cyrus is All Growed Up (And Skanky)

Much has been made of Miley Cyrus’ “pole dancing” exhibition at last night’s Teen Choice Awards. Now to be fair, she isn’t pole dancing in the traditional sense. She mostly hangs onto the pole, which happens to be attached to an ice cream cart which a backup dancer wheels across the stage while she’s standing atop it. (???)

That being said – it was a pole, and she was dancing, and is that really appropriate? I’ll leave that question up to you. Watch the video and see what you think:

Honestly, I think the pole dancing was hardly the skankiest part of Miley’s performance. Those short shorts, for one thing. I mean… yikes. Some of her dance moves were similarly “yikes.” Remember, folks, that Miley is significantly under the age of consent. Not that you’d know it from her catwalk strut.

(Personally, I thought the song itself was the most eye-roll-worthy part. Here we have Miley Cyrus, daughter of Country music mega-star Billy Ray Cyrus, singing about how strange it is to move from your little home town in Tennessee to big sparkling shiny Hollywood, where you feel upstaged and out of place. Are you kidding me? Miley Cyrus was practically BORN in Hollywood. It’s like Paris Hilton singing about how hard it is to be poor.)

The entire time I was watching Hannah Montana Gone Wild clip, all I could think of was Adele Givens’ poetry slam bit, “It ain’t that damn cute, Ree Ree.” (I guess the entire bit is called “Loan.”) Absolute genius!

If anyone needs Adele Givens to give her a spelling test and set her straight, it’s Miley Cyrus.


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Hairpocalypse 2009

Where did all the hair go? I take a personal interest in this latest rash of head shavings and close croppings, because I did the same thing myself about a month ago. Cut it all off and sent it to Locks of Love – one pound six ounces of hair!

Let’s go chronologically. First out of the gate was Cassandra Ventura, who shaved half of her head 80s style. By way of explanation she twittered, “Yeah, I did it. They ask why?? LOL B/C I WOKE UP AND FELT LIKE IT!!!”

Cassie Ventura's New Haircut

Next, MTV host La La Vasquez picked up the torch, shaving half her head and donating the snipped hair to Locks of Love. A woman after my own heart! Vasquez twittered, “Cassie started the “MOVEMENT” i did the “LA LA REMIX”..lol..who will be next..? feels good to let go!! ”

La La Vasquez's New Hairstyle

On July 21st, Rihanna landed in London with a spiky/shaved 80s haircut. This doesn’t seem as drastic a departure for her – more of a natural transition from her previous bob. In fact, of all the wacky haircuts this summer, I think Rihanna’s suits her the best.

Rihanna's New Hair Style

Today, Beyonce Knowles’ younger sister Solange upped the ante with her new do. It’s as if Solange is saying, “I’ll see your 80s pop star haircuts, and raise you a Will Smith Fresh Prince fade!”

Solange Knowles' New Haircut

While researching this article, I suddenly learned that Michelle Obama has a new hairstyle, as well. I’m not sure if it technically belongs among the ranks of Rihanna’s wacky Simon Le Bon groove, since Michelle’s hair is just plain classy. But I’m including it here for the sake of completeness.

Michelle Obama's New Hairstyle


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Lady GaGa Is Broke (Again!)

In an interview with the highly reputable British tabloid The Sun, Lady GaGa confessed that she is “flat broke.” The real surprise? “I’ve gone bankrupt about four times now.”

LadyGaga-PokerFaceFour times! I’m not sure whether to be horrified that being one of the most famous people IN THE WORLD (for the months of May through August, 2009, and then never heard from again) doesn’t ensure some kind of financial security. Or if it cheers me up to think that Famous People are just as bad with money as the rest of us.

Now, we all understand Lady GaGa’s expensive and unique wardrobe needs. Well first of all, clearly she should be shopping at our store, because if she’s going bankrupt on her wardrobe, she’s obviously paying too much!

Second of all, okay, she goes through five dozen costume changes just in the “Poker Face” video alone, not to mention those baffling sunglasses (goggles?) that say “POP MUSIC WILL NEVER BE LOWBROW” in LEDs. And I’m sure her Great Dane rental bills are substantial. But do I have to be the one to point out that all of those clothes and gadgets should be tax deductible as a business expense?

Later this year, Lady GaGa is going out on tour with Kanye West. Let’s hope that they’ll have some free time together, so that Kanye can sit her down and dish out some solid advice. Kanye West is a public advocate of prenuptial agreements, and his famous line “Having money’s not everything. Not having money is” is like a Zen koan of financial advice.


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Anti-Paparazzi Clutch Bag: For All Your Anti-Fame Needs

Are you bothered by the paparazzi while hitting the town in your nightclub clothes (which fit you perfectly, thanks to your self-adhesive strapless bra)? Then the Anti-Paparazzi Clutch Bag is for you! Wired News reports that designer and technologist Adam Harvey has designed and applied for a patent for this paparazzi-foiling fashion accessory.

00gcby3b

The clutch bag has a very bright automated LED flash bulb attached to the outside, which can be activated wirelessly. When the LED detects a camera flash, it flashes back, thus ruining the paparazzi’s picture. As you can see from the picture on Harvey’s web page, this is a very effective means of foiling the paparazzi – IF it’s pointing in the right direction.

This would be excellent for those times when you know the paparazzi are going to be around. Let’s say you’re heading out to the hottest night club in LA with an attractive male companion while your husband happens to be in London. Or, more prosaically, that you’re Kate Gosselin trying to dine at Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills. Just arm yourself with this clutch, make sure it’s pointed in the right direction, and voila!

Unfortunately, I can see some down sides to this new technology. For one thing, it’s sure to annoy and/or blind hapless onlookers. No one wants to take friendly fire while they’re lining up for a movie premiere. Second, I think you would want several of these clutch bags, one on each side of your body, so that it can target photographers from any angle.

Third, and I hate to point out the obvious, but what’s Jon Gosselin supposed to wear when he hits the local frat party circuit?

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Playboy Kendra Wilson Engaged ?!

Looks like Kendra may be stepping out on Hef? How could she?! Celebrity gossip boards are reporting that Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Hank Baskett is reportedly engaged to Playboy girl Kendra Wilkinson, who is also Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends.

Playboy

On Kendra Wilkinson MySpace page she writes “HB3″ (Hank is actually Hank Baskett III) as one of her heroes while Hank’s private profile headlines, “HB3 in LOOOOOVVVVEEEE!!!!”

Hank Baskett and Kendra Wilkinson were seen on romantic dinners in Philadelphia this weekend, according to AOL news.

Is it true? IDK
Do I care? NOPE
Is it juicy gossip? UHHH HUH


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Game Speaks Out On Travis Barker Plane Crash

The Game spoke to AllHipHop.com with regards to the tragic plane crash involving Travis Barker and DJ AM. 4 people were killed  in the crash, including Travis’s well known assistant Lil Chris…

“I am deeply hurt by this tragedy. Travis Barker has always been there for me when I needed him creatively. We’ve done many songs together,” The Game told AllHipHop.com. “Just recently he appeared in my video, “Dope Boyz,” that he featured on. I respect and love him, my prayers are with him and his family in this difficult time for his speedy & complete recovery.”

Travis Barker, a well-known celebrity drummer, is expected to pull through.  He is in critical but stable condition and has third degree burns on the lower part of his body.  Hopefully he will come back stronger than ever, him and DJ AM.  For the Video of The Game and Travis… click below:
Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “Bossip “, posted with vodpod

Is Lance Armstrong Back On The Bike?!

With all the NFL injuries and goings-on, it’s kinda nice to hear a rumor of an athletic return! It’s rumored that Lance Armstrong will come out of retirement next year to compete in five road races with the Astana team, according to sources familiar with the developing situation.

Armstrong is approaching age 37 this month and is looking to compete in the Amgen Tour of California, Paris-Nice, the Tour de Georgia, the Dauphiné Libéré and the Tour de France — and will race for neither salary nor bonuses, the sources, who asked to remain anonymous, told VeloNews.

Armstrong’s manager, Mark Higgins, did not respond to questions. And an Astana spokesman denied the report to The Associated Press.


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