Chris Brown Sentenced

Chris Brown was sentenced today for the February 8th incident where he hit, choked, and threatened to kill his girlfriend Rihanna on the night of the Grammy Awards. Brown will be receiving five years of probation, 180 days of community service, and 52 weeks of domestic violence counseling. In addition, the judge extended a no contact order through 2014, over the objections of both Rihanna and Brown.

Chris Brown SentencedIt’s nice to finally see an end to this long sad tumultuous story. Brown has previously discussed having grown up in an atmosphere of domestic abuse, and seems cognizant of his role in perpetuating the cycle of abuse. He talked about growing up with an abusive stepfather on Tyra Banks’ talk show in 2007, and has said regarding this latest incident that he wants to “take responsibility for my mistake.”

Domestic violence affects all populations, regardless of gender, race, or income level. One in three African American women will experience abuse in their lifetime, and 28% of the women who die from domestic violence are African American.

This is a serious problem, and public reaction to Chris Brown’s situation has not been, shall we say, very encouraging. Comments on the E! Online story about Brown’s sentencing range from “I STILL LUV U” to “she provoked him no doubt.” Hopefully part of Chris Brown’s community service will include some PSA spots about domestic violence, and not just a long stint picking up trash along the interstate.


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How Reggie Miller Ended Up On An Airplane Banner

Back in March, retired basketball star Reggie Miller met a young woman named Ali Kay at a supermarket in Malibu. They flirted and spent the rest of the day texting each other. Ali Kay, a clothing designer, even texted him some sexy (yet fully clothed) cameraphone pictures of herself.

Reggie Vs. The Crazy Rich People

According to Reggie, a month later in April he’d had enough of her, and even removed her from his cell phone’s address book. (Which as we all know is the true kiss of death in the year 2009.) A month after that, in May, Reggie Miller claims that Ali contacted him and asked why Reggie had frozen her out.

The next day, Ali Kay’s fiancée discovered that she had phoned Reggie Miller, and all hell broke loose. Ali Kay is engaged to Alex von Furstenburg, the son of fashion designer Diane von Furstenburg. (Ali and Alex were engaged in February, a month before Ali met Reggie Miller.)

Alex has two things:

1. About a million billion dollars.
2. The anger management skills of a toddler.

Once Alex (who is, like Paris Hilton, famous only for being rich) learned that his fiancee’ had contacted Reggie Miller, Alex lost his ****. He sent private investigators after Miller, harassed Miller’s friends, and escalating the situation to the point where Reggie Miller had to prepare a restraining order against von Furstenburg.

The drama really went over the top last weekend. Alex hired a small plane to fly over southern California’s beaches towing a banner that read “Reggie Miller Stop Pursuing Married Women.”

Reggie Miller, I assume, is fairly used to dealing with crazy people. That’s the kind of thing that happens when you’re famous. But I can’t help but wonder why the beautiful, successful Ali Kay is still hanging onto Alex, after seeing him fly off the handle like this.


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Breaking News! Jessica Simpson is an Idiot!

Please, try to contain your shock. You may want to lay down for a minute and try to take deep breaths. I know this will be difficult for many people to process, but it is true: Jessica Simpson is an idiot. And a rude one, too.

Last week, Jessica used the phrase “Indian giver” in an interview with TMZ, and all hell broke loose. Now I agree that many people do not understand the meaning behind “Indian giver.” And I forgive people for using it in conversation. I doubt anyone uses the phrase “Indian giver” as an intentional slur against Native Americans.

Those mom jeans are THE WORST

Her use of the phrase is one thing. After all, we’re talking about a woman who was confounded by the fact that the label on her can of tuna said “Chicken of the Sea.” Who once asked Pamela Anderson to clarify a Baywatch question about which she was unclear:

How did you guys run so slowly in the show’s opening scene? You know, where you’re running down the beach?

So the fact that Jessica Simpson used a hurtful, ignorant phrase should come as no surprise. What DOES come as a surprise is that she hasn’t apologized, despite coming under fire from several quarters, including the National Congress of American Indians.

Seriously, how hard would it be to say “I’m sorry”?

Adding insult to injury, Simpson defended her use of the phrase by snapping, “I am Indian, all right?” Which is a baffling attempt to reclaim the phrase “Indian giver,” considering that Jessica Simpson is not, in fact, Native American.

To which I can only golf clap.


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Get Rich Or Slash Sale Price And Try To Get Out Without Owing Too Much Money

TMZ is reporting that rapper and George W. Bush supporter 50 Cent has dropped the price on his 50,000 square foot mansion, from its original asking price of $18.5 million down to the low low price of $10.9 million. Fiddy originally purchased the mansion, situated on 17 acres in Connecticut, for $4.1 million in 2003 from Mike Tyson. The difference between his original purchase price and his current asking price is $6 million in improvements, including “a disco complete with stripper poles.”

50 Cent Mansion For Sale

The sale is sparked by 50 Cent’s frustration with the two hour commute to Long Island, where his son Marquise currently lives with his mother, 50 Cent’s ex-girlfriend Shaniqua Tompkins. But surely the man identified by Forbes as the world’s second richest rap artist in 2007 could find a better solution to this problem than trying to dump his mansion on a buyer’s market? Let’s face it; this is not the best economic climate to be trying to sell a giant mansion.

Last December 50 told an interviewer that he has been personally suffered financial problems thanks to the recession, having lost “several million dollars” on the stock market. 50 has announced that he wants to buy a smaller (that’s a relative term, “smaller”) home in New York. It sounds like, in addition to saving time on his commute, 50 Cent is trying to take the sensible step of downsizing his holdings, in order to live within his means.

Hey, you don’t get to be the world’s second richest rap star by being financially irresponsible!

Mischa Barton Locked Up For Her Own Good

Tons of sources are reporting that Mischa Barton has been placed under involuntary psychiatric hold, after phoning the police non-emergency line at 3PM Wednesday with “a medical problem.” A patrol officer arrived, placed her in custody, and ushered her to Cedars-Sinai. Mischa’s drug usage has been a problem for years, but how bad do things have to get, to warrant an involuntary psych hold?

You have to work pretty hard to get an involuntary psychiatric hold (California section 5150). Many of us over a certain age are familiar with the 5150 as the title of Van Halen’s 1986 album. To get placed under a 5150, you have to present a clear and present danger either to yourself or others. It’s not something they hand out lightly. Usually they just arrest you, ya know?

I went looking, and despite all the celebrities who have been arrested for all the drugs and all the presenting of clear and present dangers, I was only able to find two instances of a public figure getting a 5150. Most recently and famously, a 5150 was slapped on Britney Spears, after she went on her tattoos and head-shaving mini-rampage, then locked herself in a room with her son Jayden. A 5150 was also used to hold Matthew Wilson, a promising young college student at Rice University who went missing one day, only to turn up in Berkeley six months later with a crazy beard, using some school equipment in an empty classroom.


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Don’t Forget To Remember T.I.

Before he went into prison, T.I. had the foresight to record a message from jail with Mary J. Blige, “Remember Me” which is getting heavy airplay right now. One thing I will say: Mary J. Blige has never looked or sounded so beautiful.

Having watched the video, I will say this: it works a lot better if you DON’T know that the man singing it is spending a mere two months in jail, after having served 305 of the 366 days of his sentence under house arrest. And that he’s in jail after having bought illegal guns from an undercover informant. (As a registered felon, T.I. is not allowed to possess guns, much less buy them illegally.)

T.I. kicks off the song by comparing himself to Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr. Well, it IS true that all three of them are black men who went to jail, so the comparison isn’t entirely unfair. Although Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr. went to jail because of their personal convictions, and T.I. went to jail (briefly) on a felony weapons charge. But it’s his song, and he gets to write it however he wants, right?

I can see what T.I. is going for with “Remember Me,” and for the most part he hits that mark, assuming you can put aside thoughts of his two month sentence in a low/medium security federal prison. Although I couldn’t help but laugh at the scene where T.I. waits sadly for a letter back from his mother, intercut with scenes of his mother regretfully throwing away his letter to her, unopened. *single tear*

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Playboy Kendra Wilson Engaged ?!

Looks like Kendra may be stepping out on Hef? How could she?! Celebrity gossip boards are reporting that Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Hank Baskett is reportedly engaged to Playboy girl Kendra Wilkinson, who is also Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends.

Playboy

On Kendra Wilkinson MySpace page she writes “HB3″ (Hank is actually Hank Baskett III) as one of her heroes while Hank’s private profile headlines, “HB3 in LOOOOOVVVVEEEE!!!!”

Hank Baskett and Kendra Wilkinson were seen on romantic dinners in Philadelphia this weekend, according to AOL news.

Is it true? IDK
Do I care? NOPE
Is it juicy gossip? UHHH HUH


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